Days go by...

...and the pain of losing a close family member doesn't get any easier to deal with. The sadness is immense. I'm sad that every day that goes by, my grandma becomes more of a past memory than a present presence in my life. I'm sad that she will never get to meet her great grandchildren (when we decide to start a family). I'm sad that I can't go visit her and share books with her. I'm sad that my Dad no longer has any surviving immediate family members.

On the other hand, I'm happy. I'm happy that she is no longer in pain. I'm happy that I had so many years to spend with her. I'm happy we made so many memories. I'm happy that she is in a place where she gets to see all of those that she's lost over the years.

I know that eventually the pain will ease. But I never want to forget. I've been wanting to get another tattoo for awhile, and I've had a pretty good idea about what I want to get. Obviously, from the title of this blog, one of my favourite quotes is, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" I believe that my Grandma is now among the stars. That quote inspires me to think that I should always try my best, and even if I fail, I'll still have loved ones surrounding me to support me and keep me going. My tattoo is inspired by my inspiration. I would like to get a tattoo on the back of my neck of a moon, with 5 stars (to represent my husband, my mom, my dad, my last surviving grandma and myself) and 3 shooting stars (to represent my 2 grandpa's and now 1 grandma that have passed) surrounding it. Everyone who holds the largest pieces of my heart, all a part of me, encouraging me to live my life the way I want to; big and without fear, doubt or regret. I don't know when I'll get it done, but it will be before the year 2011 is out.